Day 18: Tuesday

I have a week left before I go home! I miss Hans terribly, and as much as I enjoy visiting, since I don't have a car here, it's hard to do anything I'd like to do. I'm looking forward to being back in California. 

It's been cloudy almost every day, and that makes it hard emotionally too. It's raining today.

It's Joel's day off, but he went in to do some work today. We met him around lunch time and went to some scrapbook stores to get stuff to work on the Hyundai Scrapbook. Got some pages and other stuff, and went home.

Joel got some Domino's pizza, and we had that for dinner and worked on the scrapbook. 

Day 17: Meals on Wheels and Savers

Went with Nicole and the kids on her Meals on Wheels route. It was cool to see how that works. Afterwards we went to Savers, where I bought a suitcase so I could check a bag on the plane with the stuff I'm bringing back. 

When we got home, I packed the suitcase, and found it to be 4 pounds too heavy! Frustrating. That's what I get for getting everyone jars of jelly as gifts from my trip to Wisconsin. 

Hans and his dad want that blue cheese infused cheddar we got before, but I don't think I'll be going to that place. I should try looking it up online, maybe it's not as far away as I think. Maybe we could go there on the weekend or something. We'll see.

Day 16: Better 20 Years Late Than Never!

I went to visit Mrs. Grapentine today!!! This is the first time I've seen her in 20 years! I used to visit her a lot as a kid, but I let my dad's bad attitude shoot me down, and stopped visiting. 

Talking about it with my therapist a few months ago, I looked up here address and phone number, and found that not only was she still alive, she was still living in Mercer! We started writing letters, and since I was in Mercer, I just had to call her see if I could come visit again.

It was great to see her! She's still as wonderful and loving as always, and I'm so sorry I let myself get scolded into not visiting her, because I really needed someone so loving in my life.

She has a beautiful home, with lots of bird artwork, and she has a tattoo of a black bird on her arm, which I vaguely remember from when I was a kid.

It was so, so nice to see her again. I'm sad I missed out on 20 years of friendship with her, but I'm glad that we got in touch again, better now than never.

Walked around outside and took pictures of the house and then walked down to great-grandma's house and took pictures there. The house has been abandoned for more than 20 years, and at this point, the floor has fallen in, and part of the roof has fallen in as well. My friend Shelly and I went in it back in the mid-90's when I was home from college once, but that was probably the last time it was even half-way safe to walk around inside it. The pictures I took are pretty cool and a bit spooky, but I'm glad to have taken them, because who knows when I'll be back again, or if the houses will be torn down by then.

Drove back to Madison with Holly, and talked about how to get Mama out of the wrecked trailer and into something habitable. Ate way too much random food on the way back (smoked turkey legs?!?, ranch flavored cheese curds?!?)

Day 15: Back in Mercer Again

Up at 3am to drive to Mercer to visit the folks. 

Had a pleasant enough visit with my parents, nothing negative, except the usual about me dyeing my hair (I've only been doing it for 15 years, you'd think they'd be used to it by now!)

Went to the cemetery with Holly and her kids, and also took some funny pictures by the big loon. Holly was disturbed at how big it was up close, but still gave in and laid down under it's feet as if she was being trampled by it. I got some great pictures! What a good sister!

Missy came to visit, and we went out for drinks after visiting her dad and going through a box of her old stuff! We were teasing her 12 year old daughter about how someday she'll be begging to borrow the acid-washed jean jacket that was in the Missy Archive! Lexi was quite certain that day would never come. 

We went to a few different bars in town, but didn't really see anyone we knew from high school. That was fine by me really, I just wanted to see Missy anyhow. I planned on taking a picture of us together when we got back to my house, but forgot, so I only got one picture of her posing in her old Marilyn Monroe t-shirt and the previously mentioned acid-washed jean jacket. 

My hope is I'll be out there again soon, this time with Hans!

Day 14: Friday

Don't remember much from Friday. Spent part of the day working on letters and forms for Joel, and hanging out with Nicole, Kylie and Keane.

Day 13: Thursday

Don't remember much about Thursday. Spent the day working on forms and letters for Joel, and hanging out with Nicole, Kylie and Keane.

Day 12: Wisconsin!

Back in Wisconsin! 

Cloudy and in the 40's today, I'm guessing. I'm not guessing about the cloudy part, just the temperature part!

The flights were so-so. The smaller plane wasn't as crowded, so I had no one sitting next to me, so that one was good. The larger plane hadn't a single empty seat, and the armrest on my right side next to the window didn't go up, so I was taunted by 6 inches of extra space while the entire right side of my body cramped up as well as my legs. The two guys sitting next to me were polite about the fact that I am fat, and spent the flight watching "Donny Brisco" while I spent two hours trying to suck myself in. Had to get a seatbelt extender on both flights, which didn't happen on JetBlue, and that's reason enough to only fly JetBlue in the future.

Exited the wrong door at the airport and ended up walking about a half a mile outside trying to get to the bus stop. Got their in plenty of time to catch the bus, but came to realize that 5-HTP is no match for PMS and really crashed and burned.

Slept on the bus ride over here, and Nicole picked me up at the UW campus.

Love seeing the kids again, it's so amazing how much they've grown, and how smart and fun they are.

Glad to have some work from Joel to do. Designing some day planning, call list and customer interview forms as well as updating some letters so he can increase his business. He said if he sells 38 cars in a month, he'll send me a $1000 just because! :) I'm glad to do the work, even without the financial incentive though! Makes me feel productive.

Had bourbon chicken at a food court place that used to be called something else, but still served the same stuff. It was good! Their in-house chicken was even better though, but since it was breaded and fried, was definitely less healthy than the naked chicken with bourbon sauce.

They've updated the decor at East Towne Mall quite a bit since I worked there in '94. Though, that's not surprising, since you've got to keep a mall updated looking, or people won't want to shop there anymore.

I'll update more later...

Day 11: Flying Out Today

Still feeling a bit nervous, but hopefully that will iron itself out.

I looked at pictures of the types of planes I'll be flying on today, and the first one is a small one, just from Burbank to Phoenix, and the other one, from Phoenix to Chicago is a much bigger one (Airbus A320).

Just have my carry-on luggage, and a messenger bag, and feel like I have everything. Remembered my phone charger at the last minute last night. Decided that sneakers will be my one pair of shoes for the next 14 days, though I prefer slip-off shoes now that they make you take them off to check them.

Just breathe....just breathe... :)

Day 10: Just Packing, was: Crash and Burn

I'm so frustrated and angry. Maybe it's just really hitting me that I don't have a job, or it's the stress of travelling (I like having travelled, but don't really like the travelling in itself), or the fact that I blew a month's worth of money on rent, car payment and food. Oh wait, that's usually what I blow a month's worth of money on. I guess it's just freaky to see how fast a check for $1600 just vanishes.

I guess I'm just freaking out for no real reason. It' s a bit pathetic that I needed to type that out to actually understand it.

So I guess today really is just all about packing. Pretty certain that it's not worth the $15 to have a wider selection of clothes, so I'll probably not check a bag afterall. Need to remember to have $30 in cash on me to buy the bus ticket from Chicago to Madison.

It will all be ok. I just need to take a moment to chill out.

Sidebar: Boycott Stanley's on Racine

A close friend of mine got very badly mistreated at Stanley's on Racine and I am supporting her by encouraging as many people as possible to boycott that restaurant.

While she was there, a male patron "stuck his finger in my face and said "I said shut the fuck up!" I am shocked that they didn't care enough to tell the man to leave the bar. Instead my Graduate Employee Organization manager had to call the Chicago PD to have them remove the man. He told the bartender that I am a fat bitch and I needed to get out of that place."

I am not entirely suprised that a man behaved this way, but I am very surprised that the bar/restaurant didn't value it's patrons more to take care of this immediately. From their website at: http://www.stanleysonracine.com it appears to be a more family atmosphere place and the bartender or the manager should have stepped up immediately and removed this patron from the facility.

My friend is encouraging everyone to tell Stanley's on Racine know how their mismanagement of the situation is going to impact who comes to their establishment. Here is their contact information:

Stanley's on Racine
324 S. Racine Ave.
Chicago, Il. 60607

Tel: (312) 433-0007

I'm planning on sending the following letter:

Dear Management,

I am disappointed to hear about your handling of a recent situation involving a close friend of mine.

While she was at your establishment, a male patron behaved very inappropriately, and was not asked to leave the establishment by your bartender or the manager on duty. According to my friend, this patron "stuck his finger in my face and said "I said shut the fuck up!" I am shocked that they didn't care enough to tell the man to leave the bar. Instead my Graduate Employee Organization manager had to call the Chicago PD to have them remove the man. He told the bartender that I am a fat bitch and I needed to get out of that place."

I'm writing to let you know that I find your handling of this situation inexcusable, and I plan to boycott Stanley's on Racine, and also plan to let my friends and family know about this situation, so that they may also avoid your establishment.

Although I live in California now, and rarely make it back to the Midwest, I grew up there, and a large majority of my friends and all my family currently live there. My letter will not be the only one you'll be receiving. I feel your mismanagement of this situation will cost you quite a bit in patronage as well as word of mouth. Perhaps the next time a situation like this presents itself, you'll handle it in a more thoughtful manner.

Most sincerely,
Danica Duensing

I'm going to run this letter by my friend, and make sure it's ok by her, and then send it out.

Day 9: Spring Equinox Ritual Today!

Good Saturday Morning!



Coming to you live from surprisingly dreary, rainy Lake Hughes, California!



So, I woke up at 3:30 am and was going to write back to my cousin Chris, but got distracted doing other stuff.

I'll be leaving today to go to the Spring Equinox Ritual today at Midsummer Fairies. It'll be my first Pagan ritual! They're going to "sacrifice" a chocolate bunny! :) All in good fun!

I'll write more later, but I want to help Hans straighten the house for bit before I leave. We've invited his parents up to visit for dinner before I leave for Wisconsin on Tuesday.

I'll update the rest of the day later!

Day 8: Saturday Brunch and the Women's Discussion Group

Slept in a bit, and when I woke up I worked on a few things online. I cooked up a delicious brunch of: sausage patties, scrambled eggs, seasoned potatoes, Eggo waffles, and slices of banana bread. It was a wonderful budget lunch. I got the sausage patties and seasoned potatoes at the dollar store, and only used half of, and a third of each respectively. So 50 cents for sausage, 33 cents for potatoes. Used 4 eggs, so that was 50 cents worth of eggs. 4 waffles, so that was about a dollar there. And about 25 cents for the banana bread. Free coffee to go with it, and it was less than $3 we both had a delicious filling breakfast! :) Hans always tells me that I don't need to think about the costs like that, and that we're not that poor, but there's something satisfying about knowing that for only $3 we had all that food to eat! :)

After brunch we sat around and chatted for a bit, which is always fun. Hans is a very smart, very interesting guy, and I love when we get the chance to talk with each other about ideas and information.

We snuggled for a bit and just relaxed, and then I got up to shower before going to the Women's Discussion Group at Midsummer Fairies.

Had a nice drive over to Lancaster, listening to Tiger Army, as always! :) I'm totally hooked! Nick 13 has an amazing voice, and the songs cover so much emotional ground for me; everything from being depressed and suicidal to feeling nostalgic to being in love. It's truly perfect for capturing so many of the emotions in my life. I'm very much looking forward to his solo work, doing more of the Americana sounding pieces! Can't wait! :)

So, I got to Midsummer Fairies, and looked around the store. Whenever I go there I get a new stone. I've gotten a Labradorite, an Aventurine (I always want to call it an Adventurine, like it's an adventure!) and today I got an oval carved Selenite and a Tree Moss Agate that was especially beautiful because half of it was totally white and the other half was full of the moss coloring. I also got the CoExist bumper sticker that I've seen on cars for years and have never seen for sale! Last time I was there I got a bumper sticker that says "Something Wiccan This Way Comes!" because I couldn't stop laughing at the play on words!

So, I went to the Women's Discussion Group and had a wonderful time. Met a couple new people, saw again a lady that I know, and we had a very uplifting time talking about working through the clutter and chaos in our lives. Very wonderful! We actually ended up going over the hour time and were still talking half an hour after the end time! :)

Had a nice drive back, and it's surprisingly cloudy, cool and foggy here on the mountain. In the high desert where Lancaster is, it was a bit foggy near the mountain edges of the Antelope Valley, but in the valley it was quite sunny and nice.

So, I'm back at home, probably going to have some left over burrito while Hans is over at Scott and Jay's house. Definitely need to get started with packing, because it will be Tuesday before I know it! :)

I'll update more at the end of the day, or tomorrow.

Update: Didn't end up starting to pack, except metering out my pre-natal vitamins and 5-HTP into the pill case I bought at the dollar store. And then I had a dream Saturday morning that I left it behind and had to go buy all new stuff in Madison.

Had left over burritos for dinner, then did a fill-in on my nails, and I'm pretty pleased with them. The left hand always looks fantastic (because I'm right-handed) but the right hand tends to look a bit rougher. I did a nice job on them though, and they're ready to withstand 2 weeks in the Midwest. Unless I'm clawing ice off something, but hopefully the weather will not be that bad. I've painted them a nice spring pink color. Not too flamboyant, not too pastel. I layered this cream color over a shimmer hot pink, and it looks fantastic! I want to pick up a clear top-coat and give it a couple layers of that for an added shine.

Did I really just write an entire paragraph about my nails? Yes, yes I did.

So, while I was poisoning the air with the acrylic, Hans came home. He watched some Family Guy, and fell asleep. I sat and watched some too while my nails dried. I actually had to re-watch an episode because in the credits it said that Connor Trinneer (Trip from Star Trek: Enterprise) had done a voice, and I couldn't place where he was. I did look online, and it gave me a clue where to look; he was "Sharon Stone's unsuspecting victim". I couldn't place where in the episode there was a flashback thing to Sharon Stone, but with that clue, I was able to spot where it was, and see the bit where he did a voice. He was her unsuspecting victim, because like a praying mantis, she ripped his head off and ate it after sex. Nice.

Ok, so that's that for Friday.

Day 7: Away Laughing on a Fast Camel (Or a Kind-Of Fast Alero!)

I'm dying this morning! I'm laughing so hard I can barely breathe! Finding that picture of the old lady with the shotgun was priceless! I've posted on my Facebook page, and emailed it to my friends! It's just too funny! It totally looks like that dinosaur is eating Rocky! :)

So, earlier this morning, I got my first rewarding "stay at home mom" moment; our snake Patches O'Houlihan shed his skin! I was there to cheer on all his hard work! :)

Ok, so what does today hold for me:

-send last Secret Sister letter (Done)

-pick up mail (Done)

-blog (Doing it as we speak!)

-find a Notre Dame ATM to deposit money and go to WaMu to withdraw money (Found them online, and know where they are, now I just need to go!) (Done, they're literally within walking distance of each other!)

-clean litterbox (Not done! Bad Danica!)

-fill dog water bowl (Done)

-do dishes (Again, did just enough for dinner. We had delicious chicken burritos! Yummy!)

-check on what I can and can't bring aboard the airline (Not Done)

-start packing (Not Done)

So, that's that. I've finally calmed down from the hilarity of the picture, so I think it's safe for me to drive. :) I'll update at the end of the day.

Update:

So, after I went to the post office and got my mail, I drove to Lancaster to switch money from my WaMu account to my Notre Dame account so I'd have money there to pay my car payment. I was glad to see the WaMu and the credit union that is partnered with NDFCU were basically next door to each other! :)

After I did the money switch, I went into a Waldenbooks that was next to the credit union. I haven't wandered through a bookstore in a year, not since I've been out in California. So, I just spent an hour or so wandering around the store, looking at books. Not as welcoming as Barnes and Nobles, but after all this time, it was great to be in a bookstore again!

After that I made a wrong turn out of the parking lot and was heading in the direction of the dollar store, even though I told myself I wasn't going to go there.

When I got to the dollar store, I told myself I wasn't going to get anything except Rice Krispies, if they had them. Well, then they had a multi-week pill holder, which I wanted, and a purse-size hairbrush (which I needed now that my hair is getting longer and Hans has no windows in his 55 Chevy!) and they had some muffin mixes and some cool wall stickers to decorate the walls and some adorable art prints of dogs and cats that were perfect for the living room, and a new sprayer for the hose because the other one broke, and metal fencing for the garden border so the dogs wouldn't chew it and before I knew it I was leaving there with $40 worth of very useful stuff, but stuff that I wasn't planning on buying! :)

I don't regret it at all, but I can't help feeling like Rimmer in the BodySwap episode of Red Dwarf when he trades his hologrammatic body for Lister's real flesh-and-blood body and goes crazy eating food and otherwise indulging. I fell like I'm going a bit wild with the shopping, but it is all useful stuff, and it's all from the dollar store, so it's not like I'm breaking the bank getting it. Still, $40 here and $40 there adds up, so I think I'm not with my dollar store extravaganzas! :)

After I got back home, I did some gardening, pulling all the weeds out of the border around the front of the house, digging up some of the daffodils from the backyard (who had been buried for years and one bulb had multiplied into giant clumps of 11 bulbs) and planted them all spaced out in the front of the house. I also sprinkled some wildflower seeds in the area, so hopefully by the time the daffodils bloom and die the wildflowers will be growing there.

After gardening I came in and hung up the new pictures I got for the living room, and tried out a few places for the wall stickers. Nothing really felt right, so I set those aside for later, and started cooking dinner and washing some dishes. Hans was home soon after that, we had a nice dinner, and went to bed.

That's about it for Friday. One week since I'd been laid-off. It's been a good week, a relaxing vacation of a week. I feel more alive and vital than I have in months.

Day 6: Dishes and Hair Cuts

Up early with Hans before he left. Online for a bit to check email, etc. Expecting Hans' friend Scott in about an hour to give him a haircut. My first paying gig as an unemployed person! :) Hope the $20 I'll make doesn't mess up my unemployment! ;)

My printer jammed the other night when I was printing out the itinerary for my flight to Wisconsin. It printed fine, then for no reason it sucked the paper back inside and ripped it in half! Half of the sheet I was able to pull out, but the other half is still crumpled inside of it! My work desk is a disaster because I had to pull the printer away from the wall and move everything that was sitting on and around the printer into the middle of the table.

So, today I hope to:

-clean the bathroom (Done, and you don't really realize how far gone it was until you see it clean!)

-get the rest of the dishes done (Again, did just one rack-full. Eventually I'll get them all done.)

-cook dinner: I'm thinking pasta with sauce and chicken nuggets (kind of a white-trash chicken parmigiana), steamed asparagus, garlic bread and romaine salad. (Done, and it was really yummy, even though I had to relight the oven like 3 times over the course of baking the chicken nuggets and garlic bread)

-wash that last load of laundry (Done! I even folded and put away the other two clean loads!)

-get the library books organized so Hans can take them back (the library is down where I used to work, which is near his work, so it makes more sense for him to bring them back than for me to make a 100 mile round trip to bring them back!) (Done, but I forgot to give them to Hans on Friday morning.)

-bring the trash bin back in once the trash is picked up (Done)

-scoop the litterboxes (Done)

-give Scott a haircut (Done)

-start organizing what scrapbooking stuff I'll be bringing with me when I go to Wisconsin. My brother Joel wants me to make a scrapbook outlining who he is as a car-dealer and family man, as well as outline the benefits of owning a Hyundai. (Not done, gotta work on this Friday for sure!)

So, nothing's getting done while I sit here! I'll update at the end of the day!

Update:
In the afternoon I applied for a job at The Painted Turtle, a summer camp for children facing various illnesses. I think it would be an amazingly rewarding job, and I'd love to get it. It's only 11 weeks in the summer, but it would be a lot of fun!

Also, I remembered that I have my online mentoring at http://www.icouldbe.org/ to check on! Since I'm not getting the updates because I can't access my work email anymore, I hadn't checked it since last Thursday. I caught up on the work that my mentee Cate had done in the last week, and emailed her as well.

I also updated the Michiana Monologues website: http://www.michianamonologues.org/ and realized that I could be in town to see the Community Monologues! I'm very excited about this possibility! I'm definitely planning on getting a copy of the book and DVD of this year's production!

The whole time I was working online, our biggest cat Panda was sitting on the table next to the keyboard sleeping. He kept stretching out more and more and eventually I was typing at an angle on the very edge of the table! It was cute to have him up on the table so close though!

While cooking dinner, I saw and overheard a loud, profane arguement going on across the street behind our house. I tried to ignore it as best as I could while it was just talk, but when the guy picked up a pipe or piece of wood and started chasing the woman trying to hit her, I went out on the back porch and yelled that he'd better stop because I was calling the cops! That was a bluff though, because my cell phone doesn't work here, and we don't have a house phone! He yelled that I should fuck off and mind my own business, and I said that as long as I can see and hear what he's doing, it is my business. The woman yelled that he was on drugs and didn't know what he was doing, almost like she was apologizing for him.

I emailed Hans, just in case the guy decided to come over and give me trouble. I wanted Hans to know what had happened. I figured when he got my message he'd call Jay and Scott (who live a few miles away) and they'd be over to cover things until Hans got home, because he worries about me being out here alone. They didn't come over though, and I finished cooking dinner, and relaxed until Hans got home.

He said he had tried to call Jay and Scott, but he owed on his Verizon bill, so they wouldn't let him make calls out from his cell phone! He said it was the longest ride home wondering if I was ok or if this "tweeker" (he thinks everyone up here is tweeked out on meth) had come over and tried to start shit with me too.

After dinner he went to Jay and Scott's and got a shotgun! It shoots buckshot, but he showed me how to use it, and has it sitting by the front door with a box of bullets! I told him I don't plan on shooting anyone, but he said that if some tweeker jumps the fence and starts trying to come for the house, I should at least get off a warning shot, and if he doesn't run, to shoot him for real! Ah, the comforts of small-town living!

The picture above is an artist's rendering of me shooting at a tweeker. The tweeker is represented by a dinosaur. As you can see in the picture, he's about to eat our cat Rocky, so I'm shooting him. My cat Remy is climbing the rain gutter, and it looks like Pudd'in has almost made it to the roof. I don't see Panda in this pic, or the dogs, so they much be coming at the tweeker/dinosaur from behind. :)

So, that was my Thursday.

Day 5: Wednesday March 18th, 2009

Woke up at 6:30am to feed the dogs and cats. Had a headache, so took some meds and went back to bed, with my iPod on playing a playlist of all Tiger Army music. I had some totally funny dreams, all with soundtrack provided by Tiger Army! Woke up for good around noon, checked email and then went to the post office. Got a letter from my "Secret Sister" in the swap group I'm part of online, and that was a nice surprise!

Drove to Lancaster to go to Ralph's, since I saw they were having some good sales on food. Bought about $180 worth of groceries, on top of the $90 I bought at the dollar store yesterday! I feel like I'm stocking the pantry for the end of the world or something!

Got home, brought all the groceries in, washed a drying rack full of dishes, and all the good flatware. Emptied the cupboards and wiped them down, and then put everything back in in an organized way. Roasted potatoes for dinner, and made jello for dessert. Once Hans got home I made the salad and hot turkey and cheddar sandwiches. A very filling dinner! I was pretty pleased with it, and Hans seemed to like it too, though would have preferred a lot less Dijon mustard on his sandwich. I know some of what he likes and dislikes in terms of food, but don't know as much as I would if I'd been cooking every night for the 17 months we've been together.

Spent a bit of time looking at pictures of abandoned buildings online. I used to like doing that a lot, but now that I'm on the meds for depression, it doesn't hold the same appeal it did. Maybe because I'm more focused on the future and creating things than the sad disuse of abandoned buildings.

Now just finishing this blog up, and probably going to bed soon. I was quite tired earlier, but seem to have gotten a second wind of sorts.

I see that one of my acrylic nails I put on on Saturday has split, so I'll have to replace it tomorrow. I'm not very happy with the nail tips I got at Sally's, but that's probably because I bought the cheapest ones. They're quite brittle, although it's pretty that they're totally clear instead of that off-white they normally are.

My cat Remy is being a "mama's boy" and is meowing around me until I pick him up and hold him on my shoulder. Then he starts walking on me, and puts his butt in my face while I'm typing, so I have to put him down, and the cycle starts all over again! :)

Day 4: Tuesday March 17th, 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

As it is, since I don't have a workplace, I don't need to worry about people pinching me if I'm not wearing green!

I've started this blog on here to document my days as one of the thousands of unemployed Americans. This is the first time in my life I've ever been laid-off. It was very disconcerting to have no control over leaving a job. I felt very odd leaving so many loose ends, and not getting to say goodbye to all my contacts.

What's on the docket for today?

-washing all the dirty laundry (Done, save for one load)

-cleaning the bathroom (Not done yet)

-cleaning the litterboxes (Done, and 4 cats poop a lot!)

-doing some dishes (Did just the basics, enough for dinner)

-depositing severance check (Done)

-going to therapy (Done)

-cooking dinner (Done, and beef filets from the dollar store are like shoe leather!)

That may not sound like much, but you haven't seen the pile of dirty dishes and how nasty the bathroom is! It will take all day! :)

I do also hope to take the dogs for a short walk and apply for some jobs as well. (Didn't do that either)

We shall see how the day progresses.

It's another beautiful day here in Southern California. Sunny and warm, birds chirping, a nice breeze. The weather here never ceases to amaze me.

On the depression front, I've managed to wean off the Cymbalta with no "brain zaps" at all! This 5-HTP continues to amaze me! Now to start weaning off the Citalopram (generic Celexa) as well. I'd like to be able to maintain my mood with as little chemical involvement as possible, given that Hans and I are still hoping to become pregnant.

I shall update again at the end of the day!

Update:

Focused on laundry most of the day. Left a bit early for my therapy appointment so I could stop at the dollar store and pick up some odds and ends. Went to therapy, and afterwards went back to the dollar store to buy some food. I got some amazing great deals (3 romaine hearts for a dollar!) and a couple duds (tough beef filets and overly sweet marinated mushrooms). Pretty good overall though!

Cooked dinner for Hans, we watched the movie "Caffeine" and I bought my airline tickets to visit my family for two weeks. I'm leaving from Burbank on Tuesday March 24 and getting back on April 7th. My brother is going to give me some money to help him on some projects that he's working on for work, and let me stay with him while I'm there.

It will be great to see my nieces and nephews, since they are the ones that change the most in a year. It will be nice to see the rest of my family and friends that I haven't seen in a year too. I wish Hans could go too, but it's a good thing that he's still got a job!

Day 3: The first Monday

Monday March 16th, 2009

This was the first weekday after the lay-off on Friday. I had a long to-do list, and over the course of the day, here's what I got done:

-picked-up baking supplies and other items we were out of at the grocery store

-mailed package, letters and Netflix out

-brought in the trash bin

-signed the paperwork for HR, and packed up the donated jewelry that I was repairing on a voluntary basis for my work, and gave it all to Hans to drop off for me

-wrapped gifts for Enrique

-baked bars and made deviled eggs

-got to Mom and Dad's by 6pm

-followed up on some of the leads in the free classified magazine I'd picked up the other day

-dyed my hair (It's a gorgeous shade of red now!)

-filed for unemployment

-looked up how I could sell jewelry at the swap meet

I didn't do all these things in this order. I had started a list in a notebook, just to make sure that I wouldn't get overwhelmed by knowing I had things I needed to do, but not being able to remember what they were. So this is the order that I had remembered I needed to do these things.

I looked at some jobs on craigslist.org and saw some I'll probably apply for. My problem is that there are jobs that I could do, but don't really want to do. There is a job for an HR assistant that I'm totally qualified to do, but when I went to tweak my resume and highlight why I have the skills needed to do this job, I saw that what I have written in my "objective" is so inspiring about wanting to help others reach their goals and teaching, training and mentoring. I really want a job like that.

We'll see. I'll probably still apply for it.

I talked to my brother Joel, and he offered to fly me out to Wisconsin to visit now that I don't have to worry about taking time off work. I could help him with some projects he's working on, and visit family and friends. Hans said he's cool with it, as long as I come back! :) I'm considering it.

Had a nice dinner at Hans' parents house to celebrate the 2 family birthdays in March: Hans and Enrique. As always, it was great fun.

Afterwards, back home and stayed up later than we probably should have watching old episodes of Red Dwarf.

Day 2: Saugus Swap-Meet!

Sunday March 15, 2009

Hans and I woke up early to get ready to go to the swap meet in Saugus! We drove to Jason's house, and because he had errands to run after the swap meet, he drove seperately, following us down the mountain road into Santa Clarita Valley.

We drove to the swap meet, where we met up with Scott. He had left his girl's house early in the morning, and decided to just nap in his car in the parking lot until we got there.

We walked through the swap meet, and got a few things. Hans got a chip-and-dip set, a salt and pepper set, and a set of 4 bowls all with a pool-ball theme. I found a vintage Holly Hobbie doll and another rag doll; Holly Hobbie's Friend Carrie. My sister Holly had the Holly Hobbie doll when she was a child, and I had the Carrie doll! It was a real blast from the past finding them! I'm going to wash them up and send the Holly Hobbie doll to Holly.

I picked up a small bag of kettle corn for us to munch on, and a bag of fresh cherries as well.

We found some houseware stuff we had needed, as well as some birthday presents for Hans' brother-in-law Enrique.

By noon we were out of the money we'd brought, and had seen everything, so we left. We all drove over to Hans' parent's house, where Hans and Jason did a last minute fix on Hans' 55, and then we drove to Tiny's Subs for lunch.

After lunch, Hans and I drove in his 55 around town to visit friends of his. We went to see his friend Kevin, and I spent some time talking with Kevin's wife Chanel. She recommended a product called "Fertility Tracker" where you lick a glass slide everyday, and look at the pattern that your dried saliva forms. If it dries in a "fern" pattern, it means you're going to ovulate in the next 24 hours. I'll probably look into getting it, as Hans and I are hoping to start a family.

Hans had joked the other day that now that I was laid-off, it was a guarantee I'd be pregnant. Then he joked that if he had quit his job in anger the week before, and now I'd gotten laid-off, we'd not only be pregnant, but I'd give birth to quinteplets and a puppy. I don't want to know how the puppy got in there with 5 babies!

Next we visited his friend Travis, Travis' brother Carl, and their girls. We hung out there for a while and had a nice time.

After that, we visited his friend Brian, and hung out there for a bit as well.

On the way back to Hans' parents house, we picked up Cousin's burgers and ate dinner with his folks. We spent a little time there, and then wrapped things up to come home.

I must note; this was a very unusual weekend. Because it was Hans' birthday, and I think too to take my mind off the recent lay-off, we did a lot more stuff and spent more money than we would normally do. Rarely do we have weekends this active. It was a wonderful time, and I couldn't have been happier browsing the swap meet and driving around town in Hans' awesome truck.

Day 1: Hans' 30th Birthday!

Saturday March 14th, 2009

Hans' 30th Birthday!

We slept in late, he opened his present from me, we had some frisky fun. The present and frisky fun were unrelated!

We went over to his friend Jason's house, where the guys fixed their RC cars in the garage, and I applied a set of acrylic nails. It was funny to be working on something in the garage while they were working, but be working on something so different from what they were doing.

The guys raced the cars around the track in the front yard, did more repairs on the cars, and raced some more for a few hours.

Near the end of the evening, we decided that it was too late to grill out, and Scott, Jason and I treated Hans to dinner at Foxy's Steakhouse in Lancaster. We believe it to be the second closest restaurant to our remote house. The first closest being The Rock Inn across the street.

We came back to Jason's, hung out for a bit, and then went home to go to bed early, because Sunday is Saugus Swap-Meet Day!!!

Danica Is Laid-Off

As of 1pm on Friday March 13th, I joined the thousands of unemployed Americans.

It was not unexpected, but was somewhat surprising. I worked for a non-profit, and knew that money was tight, and it was likely that some people would be losing their jobs.

I knew the 5-HTP I'm on was working when I didn't start crying immediately when my boss said "Can I talk with you in the office?"

I followed her in, and when I saw the other people there, I knew this wasn't just a discussion about whether I was over-using Facebook at work.

I actually managed to not cry at all throughout most of the proceedings. It wasn't so much being laid off that had me crying, it was how nice they were being about it, and my relief that they hadn't brought me in there to scold me for something.

Unfortunately when I did actually start crying it broke a streak of nearly 25 days without crying! And that including during therapy appointments!

So, they explained things too me, gave me a check of severance pay, and a representative from HR followed me back to my desk to watch me pack things up. She was very nice about letting me use the computer to wrap up some loose ends, I hope it didn't get her in trouble.

I called my boyfriend Hans before starting to pack. He was out at lunch consoling a friend and co-worker who had just gotten fired from his job! I asked him to come pick me up. He asked "Right now?" and I said "Yes, I've been laid off. I'm packing up my desk and have to be out of here shortly."

I loaded my plants into the lid from a paper box, and loaded the rest of the stuff into the box parts of the paper boxes. I put my fish into a small glass jar, and dumped out the rest of his water. I forgot to take the name plate I printed out that said "Danica Duensing, Resource Coordinator" with all the cute clip art of black cats around it, but I think I'll live.

I explained where stuff was to my boss, and let her know which loose ends still needed to be followed up with.

The woman from HR helped me carry my stuff outside, where I sat on a low wall and waited 10 minutes or so for Hans to come.

When he arrived, he helped me load stuff up, and I went with him back to Valencia where he was at another job site working on a project. I sat in the car in the sun and enjoyed the spring breeze. A spring breeze out here is a mid-June breeze with no humidity in the Midwest, so I very much enjoyed it.

I finished reading the book I was reading: "Stop in the Name of Pants!" by Louise Rennison. I read over the "separation paperwork". I was about to drive over to the bank when Hans finished work.

We drove over to his friend's shop, where he was going to finish working on his '55 Chevy pick-up. I took the car and drove over to his parent's house. His mom and I talked for a few hours about all sorts of things, and it was very nice.

Hans brought his repaired truck back to his parents house, and we drove back to our house in Lake Hughes and went to bed.